How my yoga practice helped me get through cancer.
With October being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, it brings up all sorts of emotions for me. You see, I recently became a cancer “survivor.” With breast cancer, you are considered a “thriver” until you hit five years after your last treatment – then you get to become a “Survivor.” So, obviously – guess what song by Destiny’s Child was going through my head as I was walking out of the radiology department? “I’m a survivor!”
Whenever my radiologist comes into the room the first thing she asks me is “are you still doing yoga?” She’s aware of all the health benefits of yoga with cancer patients and promotes it to her patients. I let her know that the two key factors of my quality of life are 1) my hair, and 2) being able to teach and participate in my yoga practice.
My yoga journey began over 22 years ago with a pinched nerve in my back that was making my legs go numb at the end of the day working as a hairdresser. I checked out a few yoga studios in town, but it was Inner Fire Yoga and their amazing teachers and schedule that seemed like a good fit for me. This was at the old location where most of the classes were taught by Darlene and Marit (I would intentionally sit behind Karen Rigsby because her poses were perfect and I’d try to mimic hers).
During my first few months of classes, my lower back was extremely tight, and the instructors were kind enough to show me how to use the strap as an extension of my arms and legs.
It was during Inner Fire Yoga’s second “yoga challenge” where I really found the benefits of doing yoga regularly (as in 3 to 4 times a week). Due to my work travels at the time, I had to get my yoga classes in by doing two back-to-back classes.
There happened to be a day where I really wanted to be curled up on my sofa having a pity party for one, crying my eyes out – but I went to yoga anyway. It was after the second class that day where the bliss or “Samadhi” happened. As I was driving home, I noticed the sadness had passed and I was noticing all the beauty and love in the world thinking, “Wow! Yoga really works!”.
After that I noticed my posture improving, as well – I didn’t need as many chiropractic appointments.
The thing I loved most about yoga was that if I had a question about work or personal life, I could send it out to the universe, and usually by the end of class I would get my answer. My manager noticed I was more empathetic with employees and clients. Overall I became less reactive, and would try to see where the other person was coming from first. I truly learned not to have any attachments to outcomes (a concept called “aparigraha” in Yoga).
It was in 2019 when I finally signed up for yoga teacher training with Inner Fire Yoga that I learned about the Eight Limbs of Yoga with the Yamas (ethical rules) and the Niyamas (personal observances) and realized that after many years of practice, one naturally starts to live these principles.
Having a healthy yoga practice and living these principles is what gave me strength during the diagnosis of cancer – through the biopsies, chemotherapy, surgery and radiation. I practiced ujjayi breathing throughout all of these to ward off a potential panic attack. My meltdowns only came on once I was in my car or finally home in bed.
Once you find a lump and hear the words “you have stage 2 cancer” your world goes dark very quickly. It was during a biopsy that I was meditating with a Drishti gaze when the nurse finally noticed at the end and asked me if I was meditating. Once I got home from that I didn’t want the emotions of anger to be stuck in my body and knew I had to move the “prana” through my body. So, I did a 60 minute flow in my living room bawling my eyes out, doing the ugly cry with a towel to catch the tears, and I felt emotionally lighter afterwards.
While I was going through chemotherapy appointments, I would play “yoga music” visualizing the chemo drugs as tiny white lights healing every cell in my body. Then every week I would take my time and do the slowest yoga session possible (also in my house) to try to connect my body to my breath and move the prana. While I was doing the actual yoga poses, it took my mind off the horrendous bone pain. I felt lighter emotionally afterwards and had less pain while my body was moving.
Yoga got me through my darkest time.
When I finally met my surgeon, I told her that I’m a hairdresser and I also do yoga, so please be mindful when doing surgery that I need full movement of my arms and shoulders. After surgery she said, “You will be happy to know I didn’t have to touch any of your muscles, so you can still do hair and yoga, but give it four weeks to heal because I did take a lymph node out of your armpit”.
Four weeks later I was back to teaching yoga. The area where the lymph node was taken out is still tight, and I still get some cording, but the consistent stretching always feels better and helps move the stagnant lymph fluid.
Once I met the radiologist and told her about teaching and doing yoga she said “oh good! My patients who do yoga have good outcomes, and you need to have your arms over your head for radiation, so I need you to keep that muscle flexible and supple”.
After 25 rounds of radiation it causes scar tissue with tightness and fibrosis so the asanas help keep lymphedema (swelling) at bay along with the stiffness. My right side will always be tight for the rest of my life, but I will always have the asanas that will help with keeping it loose and flexible.
The one thing I can count on is the amazing feeling of “everything will be all right” after every class. It is being able to rise out of fear and recovering, that made me want to share the gift of yoga through teaching. I usually say in my yoga classes “the only thing you can control is your breath” or “honor your body where it is today” because I have lived through the darkness.
I have had many clients behind the styling chair tell me that they would normally feel uncomfortable going to their first yoga class, but that they would feel comfortable coming to my class. Students can lay down in savasana for the whole hour in my class if they want – I just want them to breathe. Through my own experience as a cancer patient is how I teach. I want my yoga students to know they aren’t alone and they can get through most anything if they breathe correctly.
Once you have kept up a regular yoga practice, you naturally start living the Eight Limbs of Yoga. I try to explain that yoga is more than just a workout, and that we are moving energy through our bodies to help our minds be lighter. I love it when students share with me what “aha!” moments they learned during my yoga class – it warms my heart. I’ve always wanted to create a warm, welcoming space for students to breathe, listen to their bodies, and love their body where it’s at today. Every day, week, month, year your body will be in a different place. You need to honor where you are today.
As teachers and students, we never know what the person next to us is going through. Yoga got me through my darkest time and I want other yogis to know they will always feel better after a yoga class. The community of fellow yogis, the sound of the collective breath, even a simple smile from someone can bring lightness to us all. The peace we all experience at the end of class is really the best gift of all!
Namaste!